A Hiatus and a New Find

Last March shortly after my last post I had a medical emergency of sorts. I went to the ER the end of March in severe pain and found out I had a badly diseased and infected gall bladder. It could not be removed immediately but I could not eat as it was blocked. I had a billiary tube put in for about two months then had the surgery. After coming home I discovered the large incision was not healing and I needed to have a wound pump and wound care. This was my entire summer and I didn't do much research during that six month period. I have found it hard to get back on track but I am trying. A distant cousin had offered to do some research on my great grandfather, William Frank Kinard to find his parents.She did but I noticed that he was born in a different town, different birthdate and had another name on some documents and this didn't feel right. I did have his social security number so I sent for his orginal application (filed when he was in his late 50s.) When I received it I learned that his parents were two entirely different people and I was then able to locate his siblings on an old census. I finally have the names of his parents. That was a brick wall I kept hitting. Lesson learned. Don't trust other information given to you unless it checks out and feels right and when looking for someone's parents, if you have their social security number you can find them on their original application.

Making Progress

A few weeks ago I typed letters to everyone in Alabama who had the name Joseph Kinard. I knew that my Uncle Joe Kinard (he is listed on some documents as Joseph Lee but his gravestone says Joe F.) had two sons, Frank and Adolph. I couldn't find anything on Adolph after he turned about 7. I began to wonder if perhaps he changed his name. When I sent letters to the Kinards I found I included a Joseph A. in Mobile, Alabama. Sure enough, about ten days later I got a letter back from his son. During the war he had been teased about his name and started to use his late father Joe's name instead. Here is what I learned from Joe's son, now also called Joe. His father had hired someone to help him on the farm (which was in Flomaton, Alabama. His parents were buying the farm paying his grandfather for it I believe. His Dad was just 27 years old and went to confront the hired hand as someone reported to him that he had been selling the corn feed for the cattle to others which Joe had bought for his cattle. When he arrived it appeared someone had warned him and he was waiting with a shotgun. Younger Joe said that his father was shot in the chest but survived for awhile. He made his way into a cattle trailer but fell out and was injured during the fall. His mother told him his father was probably fatally injured during that fall. The farm hand was arrested and served a prison sentence but Joe couldn't remember his name. Joe tells me life was really hard for him just under 2, Frank 3 1/2 and his mother, Ervie. She took them for awhile to her father's. After awhile she dropped them off at an orphanage and turned up years later remarried. This happened a few times. When he was with his mother and step-father living in Pensacola, Florida he met several of his Dad's family members. He spoke fondly of Uncle Shug (nicknamed Sugar Boy) and his daughter, Virgie. He told me of visits with my grandparents. My Dad was out to sea by then. Talking to Joe was like being with my Dad and his parents again. They use the same phrases and have the same take on things. It was so comforting. Joe is my first cousin once removed. I finally got him to send me a picture. He is now 78 years old. He looks exactly like his grandfather whom we call Papaw. Ironically, Joe does not remember him as he was so young when he last saw him. I do remember him and we talk of him. It's hard to understand why Papaw did the things he did. He never watched out for his son's family. His son was just 27 when he was killed. I wonder if this is because he lost his wife when she was just 38 and he was severely depressed, perhaps never fully getting over that loss. I do not this for certain, I am so happy to have found Joe. I plan to make my way down to the Alabama/Pensacola area sometime this Spring if I can. I want to get my arms around Joe. He has lost all his family except for one son. He is so happy to have some family again. If anyone needs a good hug, I think he does.

Pressing Onward

I think one of the hardest things about searching is when you hit a brick wall. That means you have searched everywhere you need to and just can't find anything more. I've hit that with my great grandfather (Dad's mother's father.) As far as I know he was born in 1879 in South Carolina. His last name was Kinard and there were four males born that year that might be him. In those days the birth was registered by a family member whenever they had time. The name of the baby is not given. That's another problem...I have his name as William Franklin Kinard in his obit and on a few things. Seems he liked to use Frank a lot and did and there are some records that have Frank T.??? Remember he began working long before social security. I know where he was in 1922-6, in Flomaton, Alabama. That was where my father was born. In 1926 many of my great grandmother's family had Typhoid. My great grandmother had given birth two years earlier (my grandmother, her daughter was 21 at the time) and never fully receovered from that at age 37. My great grandmother lingered for a long time before dying. Four months later her mother died from it also. At that time my grandmother took my father (age 4) and her two baby sisters (ages 2 and 5) to her home in Alexandria, Louisiana. My youngest aunt didn't remember my mother. The boys were still at the "farm" barely making ends meet. At some point my grandfather left the farm and went to Texas where he worked for the railroad. When the girls were teens and in a rebellious period they went back to live with their father in Gregg, Texas where he worked. Many years passed and while her sisters kept in touch with my grandmother, her father did not. She got a call years later to come pick him up as he was living as a hermit and not doing well. She took him to her house where he remained for the rest of his life. NOW I would like to know; where in South Carolina did he come from? How did he meet his wife who had born in Florida and lived there? Why was my grandmother their oldest child born in Mississippi? So many questions. The saddest thing is this: my grandmother, the oldest outlived all her siblings. Her brothers died, one at only 27 and the other about 60. Her sisters both died fairly young. There were alcohol problems with the siblings, except for Joe. I cannot find Joe's two children, Adolph and Frank. Frank is called Joe. I have a photo of them. I wish I knew more, so much more.

Caroline E. McGowin Mancil (Callie)

One of my first posts here was about my great grandmother, Callie. My grandfather Jake had told us that her real name was Caroline but on her marriage and death certificates etc. all I found was Callie. I cannot find any kind of birth record for her. There are a few places that have her listed as the daughter of James McGowin II and his second wive Virginia Sanks but after some research, Virginia is too young to be her mother. Her death certificate lists her as the daughter of Sam McGowin. I am in touch with Sam's descendants and trying to see if they know who her father is as she is not listed on any roster of his family. Her youngest son George said it was known amongst her children that she was disinherited for marrying her husband, James Bryant Mancil who was called Tobe. I would like to solve that mystery. I have been able to solve some of the other mysteries surrounding this woman. Firstly, we knew that she had been killed by her son-in-law, Angus Graham. We never knew what happened to him or where she was buried. I believe her daughters knew but my grandfather was very young when she was killed and I'm not sure if he asked. Talking about her made him quite nervous. I learned from his youngest brother George's daughter that George witnessed her death and my grandfather might have as well. My grandfather talked of the killer being married to his sister Ruby. I wondered if Angus had ever been tried. After much searching I was able to find a blurb that he was acquitted on the grounds that he was not sane at the time. A year later I find him still married to Ruby living in Pensacola. Ten years later he has been divorced and remarried with two young children. I wonder if he ever thought about Callie and the damage he caused to her children. Her husband married a much younger woman and his younger children were sent to live with family elsewhere. My grandfather never spent another day as a student after that. If he even set foot in that house again I am not aware of it. What kind of a person could shoot their mother-in-law in front of her young child (or children) and leave her there to die? But I digress..... A short time ago I found out where Callie was buried, McCurdy Cemetery in Century, Fla. I wondered why she was there and not in the McGowin cememtery near her home? There were many entries for Find a Grave but none for her or her deceased children (I knew at least one was buried with her, Ruby, who died at age 30.) I emailed the person who had taken most of the photos and asked if he was in the area if he could verify for me that Callie had a stone and possibly take a photo of it. I was elated this morning to receive the news that he had not only taken a picture of Callie's stone but pictures of three of her children's stones as well. That gave me more information on two of her children. This is a photo of her stone:

The inscription is so perfect for her. "Rest mother, rest in quiet sleep while friends in sorrow o'er you weep." I love that it says MOTHER on the stone. It's been nearly 100 years since her death but she lives on in me. So, it's Thanksgiving. I wasn't feeling well today and I didn't make a big dinner. The day seemed kind of gloomy until I received this wonderful gift from a stranger. Thank you kind sir, thank you. A part of me will rest easier knowing that my great grandmother has this stone and has four of her children with her.

The Value of Photos and Memories

I am living through the remnants of a nightmare here in New Jersey. While we were fortunate and only lost a windowsill and lived without power seven or eight days there are many who are trying to pick up the pieces and move forward. Most Jersey people, like our New York natives are pretty tough. We rallied after 9/11 and jumped to support our neighbors who had commuted to New York and were the victims as well as their families. Right now many from my town are going down to the worst hit areas and sorting through what can be salvaged and taking food, toys, blankets etc. to those people. My mother attends a local church and the assistant pastor there lives near a river and was hard hit. They were evacuated the day before and will not be able to return to their homes for months, if ever. They are still waiting for an insurance adjuster to make that determination. Last night we went over to help them get their new lap top and printer set up temporarily. They are staying in an apartment, part of my mother's home until they can find something more permanent. While there Joyce was painstakingly removing photos from a waterlogged album and placing them between paper towels to dry. This particular photo album contained a lot of information about her family which related to the pictures on each page. Most touching was the picture of her (she was 8) and her older siblings. Next to it was a large newspaper clipping about a tractor incident which claimed her father's life. She was telling me how her mother had to hire someone to run the dairy farm and split the profits with him. That left her mother with $13 for the week. Her mother had a small book which had the amounts of every penny she spent. Rice crispies were 13 cents a box then. She then shared something with me that she found that the piano lessons she so loved were 50 cents a week. That was a lot of her mother's small budget. She never knew and her mother continued giving them to her. There was also a picture of a lovely coat. As she had gotten older she learned that had been an adult coat that her mother took apart and remade for her. The collar yoke had a stain and her mother embroidered flowers to cover the stain and then matched them on the other side as well. I felt so enriched to be sharing these stories and photos of her history. Once again the importance of these things hit me. Her mother is long gone, as is the coat but she is keeping the memory alive. I saw her grandparent's wedding photo. It was a wonderful experience to share this with her. I think she enjoyed it too. Her furniture can be replaced, so many things can but these photos and stories are priceless and cannot. I'm so happy she was able to preserve them.

Back Again Soon

There has been a brief hiatus. I live in Central New Jersey where the hurricane hit us. We were without power over five days. It was restored but I am left with an empty refrigerator, freezer and five loads of laundry to do. We are on gas rationing for now. I plan to be back soon. Keep the families of New Jersey in your prayers.Many are still without power or food, some have flooded or missing homes.

Oh Happy Day

Today would have been my father's 90th birthday. I really thought when he was in his early eighties he would get there. He was still chopping firewood and going strong. It wasn't until his first stroke about three years ago that he began to change. After the initial one, he was just confused about math. The second stroke about 8 months later did a lot more to him. He was in a rehab facility and could still speak although he was agitated. He was having physical therapy one day when he had the last, serious stroke. I happened to be at the hospital for lab work when my cel phone rang and my mother called to say they were bringing him there by ambulance. My heart pounded as I thought that he probably would never be the same since he hadn't relly recovered from the first. When he arrived in the ER he was trying to comfort me. They did a CT scan and the doctor told me right away that there was much more damage and that within days he would decline, and he did. Each day we lost a small part of him. He had lucid moments but they got fewer and fewer. My mother took him home as we knew that is where he wanted to be. I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to handle it, she was in her late 70s. There were health care aides there three times a day. He was as helpless as a baby by the end. It was torture to see my strong father like this. About a week before he died I knew that the end was near. No one wanted to believe me in the family. He died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 87. I thank God for that. When I got the call at 4 a.m. I knew what was coming. We went to see him before they came to take him away. It was surreal. I couldn't wish him back though. He would never have wanted to be like that. When I think of him I try to remember when he was younger and full of life. I miss him so much. I never knew it would be so hard to let go. Even though I knew it was the best thing for him it was so hard. My world felt less secure. This morning I got some long awaited news via the internet. I learned who my Dad's grandmother's parents were. It was amazing to feel joy on this day. His great grandfather's name was Abraham Lincoln Courtney. His great grandmother's name was Queenie Ann Victoria Hicks. His grandmother was Trinda Ann Courtney. It is rumored that the Courtneys have some Creek Indian blood in the family. I am checking that out. So while Dad's physical body is gone, his history lives on. He lives on through me and his grandchildren. I believe he is in a much better place meeting many family members he never knew here. While I have their names I am hoping he was finally able to meet his grandmother murdered before he was born. Dad as much as I miss you, I wouldn't have you back in the condition you were in. Not for one hour. I would love to have you back for an hour when you were vibrant. Instead of crying because you're gone, I smile that you were here and despite your faults, I'm so glad that I was your daughter.